Heaven Knows
by singmeasilentscream
Summary: AU In danger of losing her job, journalist Kagome Higurashi is assigned to get the 'scoop' on hot bachelor, Sesshomaru Takahashi.
1. The Assignment

**Disclaimer**: I dun't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called Sanzen in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it. -

**A/N**: I've had this idea stuck in my head for so long, so here it goes.

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**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 1: The Assignment

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_He kissed her hungrily as he gently laid her down on the bed. He examined every inch of her perfect body from her soft skin to her luscious lips._

_He couldn't believe how lucky he was to be with the beauty that lay before him._

_He went in for another kiss, this time deeply touching her tongue with his, tasting every thing her mouth had to offer._

_He had already managed to get most of her clothes off and all that was left were her panties. He reached down and felt the fabric between his fingers and rip-_

"You know Kagome, you could have that one if you want, I have plenty more."

A young woman with long raven hair jumped in surprise at the young man's voice. Immediately embarrassed, she fumbled with the book in her hands and then hurriedly threw it across the room, only to have it hit the owner of the voice.

"Ow! First you steal my beloved possessions, and then you go and hit me with them. Kagome, are you so sexually frustrated that you must act out like this? Is this your hint for me?" said a young man's voice.

She blushed furiously. Of course, it just had to be Miroku, the most perverted person she knew, to find her in a situation like this. He would probably be happy with glee, thinking they both shared some kind of kinky sexual connection or something.

"Now, of course, being such a great friend, I would be more than happy to let you take out any sexual frustration out on me."

"I bet you would" Kagome said through gritted teeth. "But I am not sexually frustrated, I just happen to come upon your dirty little novel when I was looking for that article you were supposed to give me yesterday."

"And you found it in there?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"No, I…uh…" She said as she couldn't find any explanation.

"Yeah, well, while you were having a great time reading without me, Kikyo has been looking all over for you. You better check and see what she wants before she has a bitch fit again." He said with a sly grin.

She groaned in annoyance.

"I knew you'd like hearing that."

"Well, you better put your little book away before Kikyo sees it or even worse, Sango."

"Oh yes, I wouldn't want her to confiscate my beloved novels, but before you go, here's where I keep them all in case you want another peek at them. I have all 200 volumes." He said with pride as he opened a drawer full of books with half naked men and women hugging each other on the covers.

Kagome smiled and rolled her eyes at the gleaming Miroku.

Now to see what her boss wanted. Kikyo was the editor of _Sanzen_, a women's magazine that Kagome worked for. She was already on bad terms with her ever since Kagome's former boyfriend, Inuyasha, had cheated on her with Kikyo. Kikyo loved to shove the fact that Inuyasha had preferred her in Kagome's face. Kagome had been in a state of despair when she first found out, but although it still hurt her sometimes, she eventually got over it.

She took a deep breath as she reached the front door to Kikyo's office.

She would need lots of patience to handle this. And lots of it.

She opened the door to find Kikyo in a man's shirt that said 'Inuyasha' in cursive on the left breast pocket.

"Oh, you finally came, Kagome. You know, here at _Sanzen_, all of us must be punctual and organized with our time schedule, but if are not capable of doing so, I'm afraid I may have to let you go."

"I bet you'd love that" Kagome mumbled under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Kikyo asked with a stern look.

"Uhm, I said I'll make sure it will never happen again" She said with a fake smile.

"I'm glad, but the reason I asked for you to come here is to discuss your job."

Kagome could start to feel sweat starting to form on her forehead. Kikyo wouldn't fire her would she? Kagome was one of the best writers here for Christ sake! She wouldn't fire her over that whole Inuyasha thing would she? It's not like Kagome was the one who had wronged her anyways.

"You see," Kikyo said as she opened a folder and took out some papers. "I have reviewed some of your past articles, and I have noticed that they lack a certain thing…they are just simply not interesting. Look at this one for example."

She then handed Kagome a piece of paper that had the heading '_A Fight For Life by_ _Tenshi_' on it. It was an article that Kagome had written a few months ago where she had interviewed a teenage girl with leukemia. Kikyo had made all the writers make up a pen name to use on all their articles and Kagome had chosen '_Tenshi_'.

"What's wrong with it? I had a lot of letters coming in saying how inspirational the article was."

"Kagome, this is a women's magazine. Women want to read about the hottest stars, not about some poor girl who'll die soon anyway. You need to understand, this is a top magazine, and in order for us to get to the top and stay there, we must stick with what's exciting and important."

"So you're saying the fact that that young girl has to suffer with cancer is not important?" Kagome asked angrily.

Kikyo's eyes darkened.

Uh oh.

"The fact of the matter is, is that I am your boss. I pay you, okay? And what I say is crap, simply is crap."

"If I'm such a crappy writer than why don't you fire me!" Kagome shouted.

"Well, I, being the nice person that I am, am willing to give you another chance. As you know, we took a survey on who women thought was the hottest bachelor in the business industry. Your job is to get the scoop on the winner, Sesshomaru Takahashi."

Kagome's face drained of all color. Sesshomaru Takahashi? The most arrogant jerk on the face of this earth? Curse all those women who voted for him! She would rather write about her grandpa being the hottest bachelor than him!

Kikyo watched Kagome's silent reaction.

"Of course, if you don't think you could write it, I will understand." Kikyo said in a patronizing tone.

Kagome narrowed her eyes. "You know what, I'll do it and write the best article I've ever written."

"Well, seeing your past writing, I would have to say that writing anything better should be fairly easy, but remember, if you aren't able to write it, you are fired. Now, please leave me to my work."

That bitch. Kagome would show her. She'll find out everything there is to know about Sesshomaru Takahashi. His underwear size, what time of the day he takes his shower, his family history, everything.

Now in her own office, Kagome grabbed the phone book.

Time to get into stalker mode.

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**A/N**: Hmm. I wanted to write more, but that last line seemed like such a perfect line to end with. We'll be meeting Sesshomaru in the next chapter, so if you want to see the hotness monster, review please. Anything you see that was wrong? Please tell me.

_Sanzen_: Radiance

_Tenshi_: Angel


	2. Bad Positions

**Disclaimer**: I dun't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called _Sanzen_ in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it.

**A/N**: Wow. I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. I got a lot more reviews than I thought I would. Thank you so much to all my reviewers, you guys made my day!

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**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 2 : Bad Positions

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Kagome sat with sweaty palms pressed together while waiting anxiously to be called into Sesshomaru Takahashi's office, where she would then be interviewed for a job as his personal assistant.

She had gotten Miroku to help her in making a plan to get close to Sesshomaru without revealing that she was a journalist. Of course, the first idea Miroku had, was for her to pretend to be a hooker, seduce him, and get information by intoxicating him to near death with alcohol. Yet, with much protest on Miroku's part, she had persuaded him into helping her find a job in close proximity to Sesshomaru, and it so happened, that Miroku, with his great amount of connections, found out that Sesshomaru was seeking a personal assistant.

So here she was, almost tripping to Sesshomaru's office after his secretary called her to go inside. Kagome, uncomfortable already, felt her bra start to dig into her breast. She looked around her as she stood in front of Sesshomaru's office door to find that the secretary had gone to the restroom and that there was no one else in sight. Taking her chance and knowing that she was already a minute late to her interview, Kagome attempted to inconspicuously adjust her bra underneath her blouse when the office door opened to reveal a tall man with silver hair peering down at her in both disgust and curiosity.

Kagome blushed a shade of crimson as she hurriedly stopped what she was doing and adjusted her blouse and skirt.

"Kouga Issani's office is down the hall and to the left." Sesshomaru said as he started to close the door. "Oh, and tell Issani if he must indulge himself in his bitches, then he should do so in the privacy of his own home."

Kagome's eyes widened and narrowed as she stopped him from further closing the door.

"Excuse me, _Sir_, but I am in no way associated with this Kouga Issani. I am here to be interviewed for the position of a personal assistant for Mr. Takahashi, and I do not appreciate being called a 'bitch.'"

"Then perhaps you should reconsider the locations that you chose to undress in."

Kagome clenched the briefcase she had brought with her in frustration and anger.

"I was not undressing. I was making sure I appeared professional for my interview."

Sesshomaru scoffed. "And you do that by taking off your clothes?"

"Yes! No, wait, I mean no! I mean…" Kagome said flustered.

"Yes, well, I have no room in my company for women who believe they can get a job by seducing their employer. Good day." He said shutting the door in her face.

Kagome stood there in shock. This was just her luck to have him find her there in such a bad situation, but Kagome was livid and determined to prove him and Kikyo wrong. She opened her briefcase to find the fake diploma and that Miroku had made for her.

Gathering her confidence, she barged in through the door as Sesshomaru was looking over some papers. He peered up to find the same woman from just moments before seething as she gripped her briefcase and papers in her hand.

"I'll tell you what Mr. Takahashi, I don't need to seduce anyone to get a job. I am a capable woman who has much more skills in my single pinky than you have in your entire body!"

Sesshomaru put down his papers and crossed his arms while leaning back in his office chair.

"And what would these 'elaborate' skills, that I seem to dearly lack, consist of?"

"Well…for starters, I have much better people skills than you do," She said as she started gaining more confidence. "And I have excellent ideas for community projects...and…and…I have a masters degree in business from Tokyo University!"

Kagome was still waving her diploma quickly in front of Sesshomaru's face as he arched his eyebrow at her last statement.

"If you have a masters degree in business, then why are you looking for a position as a personal assistant?"

Kagome panicked as she hoped cajoling him would end his suspicions.

"Well, you see, Sir, I just graduated a little ago, and I firmly believe that in order to get to the top, you need to learn from the best."

Sesshomaru gave her a deadpan look. "From seducing to flattering I see. Well--"

Just then, what seemed to be an older, yet bubbly version of Sesshomaru barged in yelling heartily.

"Sesshomaru my boy! The greatest of news! Inuyasha is engaged to Kikyo!"

_Inuyasha?_ Had Kagome heard correctly?

"I do not care what my brother's status is with his bitch. If you'll excuse me father, I was in the middle of dismissing Ms. Higurashi here."

_Of course!_ How could Kagome have been so stupid? She knew they had the same last names, but there were probably thousands of Takahashis in Tokyo alone! Yet, they seemed so different. Never would she have linked the two together, and for once, she was grateful that Inuyasha had never introduced her to his family.

Inutaisho Takahashi turned to the still dumbstruck girl who Sesshomaru seemed to be referring to and smiled.

"Why would you want to dismiss such a pretty girl? Tell me, Ms. Higurashi, is it?" he asked as he received a dumb nod from Kagome. "What do you believe you can contribute to Takahashi Corps.?"

"Well, I have a masters degree in business--" she managed to say before Inutaisho interrupted her jollily.

"And you're seeking to be a personal assistant?"

"Well, Sir, I want some experience before I venture out into the business industry."

"Smart girl! Why that's how I started out! I always say, you got to chop the wood before you can build the house! I'm sure Sesshomaru would love to have such an intelligent young woman as his personal assistant."

"But Father, she clearly lacks the integrity for the position."

And it was as if that jolly, bubbly man disappeared and was replaced by a demon.

"Sesshomaru Takahashi, this is my company, and if you disagree with the decisions I make, then perhaps the company would be better left in the hands of Inuyasha."

And with that he returned to the jolly man as he beamed at Kagome. "I hope to see you around, and it was nice to meet you." He said to Kagome before he turned to glare darkly at his son. "Sesshomaru, I'll inform you of the time and date of the engagement party."

He then walked off, leaving a newly employed woman and her glaring boss. There was a long pause of silence before Sesshomaru spoke.

"You start next Monday at 8 a.m sharp, if you decide to come late you are fired. Now please leave, I have work to do."

Kagome rose and left Sesshomaru's office with a smug smile as she went to the nearest restroom. Putting her "diploma" back inside her briefcase, she caught sight of something odd written on it and examined it closer.

"Degree in romance writing!" Kagome screamed in shock. "That idiot, Miroku! Is there even such a thing!"

It had been pure luck that neither Sesshomaru nor Inutaisho had bothered to actually look at it.

She groaned.

"I guess hell starts next Monday." She said to herself.

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**A/N:** I changed the chapter a tiny tiny tiny little bit. It was so late when I actually wrote the chapter that I never even proof read it (Bad Mr. Vero, Bad!), and then when I finally read it, I couldn't believe how sloppy I had written it! So many grammar errors! Anyways, I'm working on getting the next chapter of this story out and the next one for my other story, **Evident Imperfections**. That story is a bit more dramatic and boring than this story, I like to change my writing styles alot. But I have a lot more fun writing comedy, so I'll most likely try to write more of those. Whoah. This is way too long, sorry. Have a great day and please remember to review! 


	3. Homicidal & Homosexual Tendencies

**Disclaimer**: I dun't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called _Sanzen_ in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it.

**A/N**: Bad Mr. Vero! Took soooo long to update. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! But I hope you'll like this chapter. I had a fun time writing it! XD

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**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 3: Homicidal and Homosexual Tendencies

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Kagome tugged self consciously at her skirt as she walked the steps up to the building where she was newly employed. She glanced nervously back at the recklessly parked white van where Miroku was inside as she walked to the elevator. She went inside and pushed the floor number that Sesshomaru's office was located. She sighed as she thought about how horrible her days would be now that Sesshomaru would be in them. The elevator signaled that her floor was coming up as she remembered to put the ear piece that Miroku gave to her in her ear.

"Hello?" she said in a loud voice as she adjusted clear earpiece so that it could not be obviously visible.

"Kagome can you hear me?" came Miroku's voice from inside her ear.

"Yes" she replied.

"Good," he said. "Now, what color panties are you wearing?"

She could almost hear his smile through the ear piece. As she clenched her briefcase in her fists and closed her eyes…just as the elevator doors opened.

"Pervert!" she shouted.

She then opened her eyes to find all the people silent and peering into the elevator doors to see who had shouted. Kagome was so embarrassed she wanted to dissolve into the elevator floor. And yet, to make matters worse, she saw the already familiar image of Sesshomaru only feet away, making his way toward her.

"Excuse me, Higurashi?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Heh heh he…" she laughed nervously while rubbing her head. "I said Sherburt! Would anyone like some Sherburt ice cream?" she asked in false enthusiasm.

"Higurashi, most civilized people don't eat ice cream at 8:01 AM" he said while looking at his expensive watch. "Not to mention I believe I told you to be here at exactly 8:00 AM, sharp. And yet here you are, instead, a minute late and ranting off about ice cream or some code name for the drugs you are obviously on."

"Hahaha" she nervously laughed again while blushing like a tomato. "Oh, Sesshomaru, you kidder, you!"

He kept his icy glare fixed on her, not laughing.

"Well, uhm, obviously you have things under control here, Sesshomaru. Good job. I'll just be, uh, heading to the ladies room…" she said as she began to try and slip away, but Sesshomaru caught her by the color loosely, inching his face closer to hers.

His face was so up close to hers, she could see all the little things you couldn't normally see. She wondered if all those women who had voted for him as the hottest bachelor would still be in love with them if they could see the light scar on his forehead in the shape of a moon. That was a dumb question, she figured, still scrutinizing his face; it would only make them like him more if they new he had imperfections just like them.

Then she had a great idea! Those obsessed women would love to see a picture of it and a dramatic background story of how he got defending someone. Her mind was still scheming on the idea when she finally realized Sesshomaru's lips had been moving for a while.

"…so be quick and do as your told if you want to make it here." Sesshomaru voice pierced the silence, and was actually the only thing she had caught of what he said.

"Huh?" she said dumbly as her bright blue eyes blinked back into reality.

Sesshomaru sighed and silently asked God for patience.

"I said," he began as he clenched her collar, bringing her even closer to emphasize his anger. Her blue eyes widened and for a moment he just stayed there looking into her eyes when something by her ear caught his attention.

"What is that?" he questioned, nodding to the area of her ear.

"Uhm…" she started before Miroku, who had been silently listening, whispered very quietly to into her ear to tell him it was a device to help her bad hearing.

"But that's embarrassing!" she said, forgetting all about Sesshomaru who looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Well it's the only thing at the moment!" Miroku said back into her ear.

She sighed, knowing all the lies kept on adding and adding since she had met Sesshomaru.

"What is embarrassing? Besides your behavior, of course." Sesshomaru asked.

"Er…it's for my bad hearing. I've been partially deaf since I was a child." She said dramatically, now getting into the false story. "You see, my father and I, were in a car accident when I was young—"

"I don't care to hear about your childhood stories." He said, cutting her off. He inched his face closer to her once again while glaring at her suspiciously. Kagome could practically feel his breath on her as he scrutinized her eyes. His lips were so close Kagome almost thought he was going to kiss her!

"Get back to work." He ordered as he straightened up.

"Haha. I thought you were gonna kiss me for a minute there! Hahahah." She said, laughing out loud.

He gave her another of his famous dead panned looks, still not laughing along with her.

"You needn't worry about that sort of thing, Higurashi. A woman like you could never attract a man like me." He said walking off.

Kagome narrowed her eyes. That arrogant bastard! Who did he think he was?

"… A woman like you could never attract a man like me" She mimicked him out loud.

She closed her eyes and leaned her back into the wall just outside of the elevator on the floor of Sesshomaru's office. She hated how she always seemed to say the most unintelligible things around him; it was almost as if she was _trying_ to prove to him how much of an idiot she could be. And what a stupid thing of her to say about kissing! She wished she could keep her mouth shut sometimes. She sounded like a babbling school girl when she spoke to him. Frustrated with herself, she softly punched the wall behind her with the back of her fist.

Then she began to remember the last lines of their conversation. Did he say he wasn't attracted to women? …Or something of that sort? She cursed her poor memory, but she could have sworn she had heard him say something like that. She opened her eyes and began to laugh out loud at the thought of Sesshomaru Takahashi being gay. This was just the story she was looking for! This would put her up to the top!

She stopped laughing to find the people in the office once again staring at her in silence. She could hear slips of words such as "crazy" and "psycho" as she started her way to the ladies room. She grinned. She couldn't care less of what they thought; after all, she was bound to show Kikyo up with her new cover story idea.

"Miroku," she said grinning as she had reached the safety of the empty restroom. "I just got an idea that will blow your mind away."

"What? Did someone call me?" he said in a groggy voice. "Blow what? Kagome, your so forward today…" he said, fallowed by soft snores.

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**A/N**: Whooh! I'm on a role today! I got chapter 3 done of Heaven Knows after so long and I started a new story called **31 Days to Convince Mr. Arrogant**. This was a short chappy i know. but i just needed anything since it was sooooo long since i updated. So check that one out if you have time and review please! I'm in such a good mood. Hahah. Lalalala. XD I'ma try to put up the next chappy as soon as i can. so review, no? please? XD 


	4. Mind Like Meatloaf, Body Like Stone

**Disclaimer**: I dun't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called _Sanzen_ or _Nakadai _in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it.

**A/N**: GOMEN NASAI. I really intended to update a lot faster. But I was so busy. Okay, actually no. That's a lie. I've been currently so obsessed with Jdoramas its crazy. They're so good! I love it! I just finished watching Nobuta Wo Produce the other week and it was soooooooo good. I recommend it to anyone who liked Hana Yori Dango. And then on Thursday I had an anxiety attack at school, so I got to stay home and there were no other good Jdoramas that I hadn't watched yet so I decided to write finally! And I'm glad I did. It was really fun writing this chapter. Anyways, please forgive me. PLEASE. You understand asian infatuation and Japanese obsession of course, don't you?

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**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 4: Mind Like Meatloaf, Body Like Stone

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Sesshomaru sighed for what seemed like the millionth time since receiving the offending white envelope that lay, ever so mockingly, before him on his desk. He rubbed his temples with closed eyes as he re-examined the contents of the said envelope in his mind.

It had been an invitation from his old friend, Naraku Akutama, asking for his presence at a gala in which everyone would be celebrating his achievement in receiving the Best Actor award.

Please.

If he gave a shit, Naraku would be the first one he'd give it to.

He recalled their so called childhood friendship that consisted of constant competition that was only encouraged by their fathers. In elementary school, they competed in who could make the best origami, in middle school, they saw who was better at sports, and in high school, they competed in academics, and through out it all, their fathers' had cheered and jeered to make sure their son was better than the others.

He made a mental note to himself about acquiring information on either the top therapist or psychologist in Tokyo.

He picked up the envelope and gave it a scowl one last time before motioning to throw it away, but a sudden thought struck him.

Was this some kind of challenge Naraku was issuing to him?

He wouldn't doubt it. The man was probably trying to reclaim his damaged dignity when he was unable to accomplish being accepted into Tokyo University as Sesshomaru had. He could now hear the silent but underlying statement of the invitation: _You may have beaten me in the past, but who is winning now?_

He scoffed at the childishness quality of it all and would have normally dismissed it as being extremely below him…

Yet, he always had such a difficult time declining a challenge. Especially from someone whom he had such a competitive history with.

It was decided.

He'd accept the challenge. He'd show up, steal his thunder, and once again, be the victor. But he knew Naraku to be one who didn't exactly incline to honor or rules, and so he tried to think like him in order to go about showing him up.

He found he couldn't stand it for more than 3 seconds. Trying to lower his mentality to Naraku's, it was absurd. He'd obviously need the help of someone who was on the same low level as Naraku.

A certain sputtering idiot came to mind.

He picked up the phone and dialed the extension to his assistant's own phone at her desk.

"Higurashi." He almost barked into the phone.

"Eh?" she said dumbly into the receiver.

"Get into my office; I have an important assignment to discuss with you."

"Aww, but Sesshomaru— " she began but was then met with the droll tone of the dead phone. She scowled at it and sighed as she began to make her way to her boss's office.

"What do you want now Sesshomaru?" she asked with annoyance as she invited herself to sink into the plush armchair across from him.

He let a small growl escape at the girl's impudence. "You either address me as Mr. Takahashi or Sesshomaru-sama."

She got up from the comfort of the chair and smiled sweetly to him and bowed low.

"And how may I be of service to you, Sesshomaru-_sama_?" she asked with sweet malice. Keeping her pleasant smile on as what seemed to be a vein began bulging out on her forehead.

He ignored the insincere gesture and threw the invitation into her lap after she seated herself.

"How rude!" she remarked, offended.

"I very much doubt you are in a position to criticize my mannerisms."

She pouted and read the elegant invitation he had tossed to her.

Her eyes widened as she read who it was from. She had only heard from the other staff about Naraku Akutama since she had neither time nor money to spare on TV and movies, which she supposed got her into this situation in the first place, but from what she heard, he was rapidly becoming a prominent actor in Japan. She silently cursed at herself for not being a little media obsessed teeny-bopper, even though it gave her a sense of pride among her coworkers who were so obsessed themselves. She noted to herself to buy an issue of _Nakadai_ on her way home today.

She was brought back to reality when she finally looked up to see Sesshomaru waiting for her to say something.

Had he been talking or something? Damn she hated how her mind always went on holiday when she was around him. _Come back anytime_, she said to her own brain, _it's not like I need you to function properly. Nope. Not at all. _

"Well?" he asked impatiently.

_Mind like meatloaf, body like stone._ Oh wait, that was only for karate.

How about, _patience i_s _a virtue_, she thought.

Hmm. No, that had absolutely nothing to do with her current escapee of a mind.

"Do you understand the assignment or not?" he said in what Kagome thought was almost a scream, but knowing the pile of regal, emotionless, sack of flesh and organs in front of her, she knew he hadn't.

Geez. Obviously Sesshomaru could benefit from hearing it though.

She giggled a little but stopped as she remembered the still collected yet slightly fuming figure in front of her. She gazed up to him to find his scowling glare pinned on her.

"Yes?" she said in a question, half afraid, by the look of his tensing muscles, that he would take that pen in his hand and stab it in her eye.

Thoroughly exasperated with her mere presence, Sesshomaru determined that was valid enough of an answer, as long as she would be out of his sight soon, he didn't really care.

"This is my address," he said as he scribbled it on a piece of paper and handed it to her. "I would prefer if the meeting place where not at my home, but it would look better if we were to arrive together.

You may use the bank code I just gave you to pay for anything you need for the preparations, as long as it's within reasonable expenses."

She looked at the piece of paper.

As if she didn't already have his address on file in her Mission Stalk Lord Asshole And Take Kikyo's Job notebook, but of course, he didn't need to know that.

Then she looked down to read the invitation again and realization suddenly dawned on her.

She looked down and began tracing imaginary 8s on the floor with the point of her shoe with a sudden bashfulness.

She looked like a bashful school girl with a cramp in her foot.

"Oh, Sesshomaru," she began, bringing her gaze up to meet his unreadable face. "There's no need to beat around the bush." She said, modestly.

"In fact, I'm so honored you picked me to do the job."

Sesshomaru looked at her, confusion bubbling up inside of him. What was so great about finding him a female good enough to take with him to the gala? In fact, he'd think it to be such a tedious job, that's why he gave it to her. He found the very thought of having to waste his time with bubble gum bimbos, trying to find a female beautiful and smart enough for him, extremely tiresome and frustrating. Although it was not an easy task, he thought at least Kagome, being female, would have an easier time finding an appropriate date for him. He had even done her the favor of telling her all the things she must harbor in order to be considered valid, you know, just the usual: beauty, smarts, and some past relationship with Naraku Akutama that he would be able to throw in his face.

Putting aside the doubtful feeling growing in his mind, he decided to leave it be, for he had much more important things to utilize with his precious time. This was, after all, her first assignment; surely even she would have more common sense than to screw it up.

Surely.

"Higurashi, please contain yourself. I expect you to do a thorough job." He said as he walked to the door and opened it, gesturing for her to leave. "Now get to work."

Kagome nodded and started towards her desk. Oh, the calls she had to make! She felt so excited. She'd be going to a gala! Who cared if Sesshomaru was an ass, she wouldn't let him ruin the night of her first gala. But she supposed, he couldn't be that much of an ass, after all, he extended the invitation to her, when he could take anyone he wanted.

Was it that Sesshomaru had fallen to her feminine attributes?

She sighed; she supposed she couldn't help it if her mother passed on such qualities to her. She laughed at her own cockiness. But to think of all the advantages she could have with Sesshomaru wrapped around her little finger. She smiled contently at the vision of Kikyo at her feet, begging for Kagome to let her stay at _Sanzen_.

But something didn't seem entirely right. Sesshomaru wasn't known for dating or bedding many females, so it seemed very odd for him to have fallen for her so fast. In fact, she had thought he down right hated her. It just didn't add up, she concluded.

Aha! Maybe Sesshomaru was doing it to try to hide the fact that he was possibly gay.

Hmm. But it still didn't seem right, since if that was true, he could still have his pick of the litter.

She exhaled in frustration.

She dialed the number to _Sanzen_ and the extension to Miroku, since they had decided not to risk the ear piece again, to the disappointment of Miroku, who enjoyed being able to voice his perverse notions to her without being punished immediately.

"Akusou Miroku speaking." He said into the phone.

"Miroku, I'm going to a gala with Sesshomaru. This is an excellent opportunity to get out and spend his money on a ridiculously expensive, but gorgeous, dress that I would never ever be able to buy in a million years…Oh and to get juicy info on him." She gushed but added the last bit in a bored tone.

"Ooooh. Sounds fun, I want to go." He cooed. "There's sure to be some delectable young females trying to get ahead in life and are just a little too willing for anyone who says they're important. Which reminds me of this one time I was at a club and this cute girl with huge—"

"Sorry to burst your bubble Miroku, but I'm gonna need you for something else…something you probably won't like." Kagome said, interrupting him before he said anything she would feel guilty about not telling Sango about.

Miroku pouted into the phone, disappointment and anxiety building in him.

"Exactly what do you need me for..?" he asked suspiciously, somehow, he knew this wouldn't involve him and 10 delicious women in various skimpy outfits serving him wine, by the mouth.

"Err…I don't know how to ask you this…" Kagome fumbled.

"What? What is it?" he asked, now growing extremely anxious and curious as he clenched the phone to his ear.

She sounded rather hesitant. Perhaps she wanted romance lessons in case Sesshomaru got a little frisky.

No, that seemed too good to be true.

And then he heard her take a deep intake of breath before she answered him.

"IneedyoutoactlikeagayguyandtrytoseduceSesshomarusowecanfinallyseeifhe'sgayornot!"

This was not at all how he had fantasized Kagome taking his manhood.

Nope. Not at all.

* * *

**A/N**: Hee hee. I loved writing this chapter. The story is finally starting to pick up more. So next chapter should be nice and good! And I will try to update more often. I will bear the struggle with my nagging mother telling me to get off the computer since I already spent an ungodly amount of time reading fan fics. I usually don't like CU stories at all, they bore me real fast, but omg, I started reading **Tales From the House of the Moon** and I couldn't stop reading! It's so good! Anyways. I hope you liked this chapter and if you did, or didn't for that matter, (butI really hope you did.) PLEASE REVIEW ANYWAYS. 


	5. Out of the Closet Act I

**Disclaimer**: I dun't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called _Sanzen_ in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it. I also don't own Shibuya of course, in fact I've never even been there and I have absolutely no idea if there is a "Oscar de la Renta" boutique, but if there is, obviously I don't own it. ()

**A/N**: I am horrible with updates. I am so sorry x 03495820368.

* * *

**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 5: Out of the Closet Act I

* * *

Miroku had always loved his job. Honestly, he did. What straight male wouldn't want to work where young, attractive females gathered on a daily basis? Alright, so there was the occasional flaw of the job: Kikyo as his boss, being hit-on by the few other male employees here, and the occasional sexual harassment complaint filed against him. But it was so very much worth it. Where else could he write articles giving women advice on men's sexual desires and needs? He seriously considered himself lucky to work in such a place.

Well, that is, until his coworker, Kagome, had asked him to pretend to be a gay guy and seduce Sesshomaru Takahashi in order to find out if he was gay or not.

Miroku had flat out refused. He couldn't believe how she could just insult his manhood, his masculinity, like that. The very idea of following her request sent horrible chills down his body.

Yet, here he was, dressed in a flashy suit that, as Kagome had put it, "sent the right signals to the right people".

Damn that woman! She was so conniving and manipulative!

He had utterly refused to act and seduce Sesshomaru, but then that woman, that damned woman, abused his weakness.

It had been a pleasant day at work; he had only been slapped about 4 times and only 2 women threatened him with a law suet. Yup, it was surely to be a marvelous day for Miroku.

Until 2 women appeared in his cubicle wearing short office skirts and low buttoned blouses.

He should have known. It was so rare for them to be wearing such clothes and pawning all over him. But in the moment, his body was much more important than his mind.

They had really gone all out for their little act. Both giggling to him and "accidentally" dropping things and having to bend over to pick them up. And then, when they leaned over his desk and whispered in his ears, sending shivers down his spine and awakening other unmentionable areas, he just couldn't refuse them. Honestly, what straight man could have?

He was thoroughly innocent, Miroku concluded. A poor defenseless man played into the schemes of those devil women! Those damn devil women, with their obsidian locks cascading over their shoulders. Their white porcelain skin, and their young, firm, bouncing, brea—

No! Miroku shook his head, trying desperately to clear his thoughts. This was just what they wanted!

He wouldn't be their puppet! He'd show them. He'd be the sexiest gay man at the gala, and Kagome, Sango, and Sessomaru for that matter, would be lusting after him, but he would refuse to give in. Let's see how they would cope with his sexiness dangling in front of them!

So with his new found motivation, he began practicing his "come hither" look in the mirror while he finished preparing for the gala.

Kagome put the finishing touches on her makeup and stepped back to observe herself in the mirror. She had absolutely fallen in love with the gown she had bought, courtesy of Takahashi Corps., of course.

She had fallowed Sesshomaru's instructions and decided to go to Shibuya to shop at an Oscar de la Renta boutique. As far as who he was and why his dresses where so expensive, she had no clue, but the aura of the store had caught her attention and she decided to take a look. She immediately felt out of place when she stepped inside of the store, with her casual discount jeans and sweatshirt, and even the saleswomen began glancing at her with suspicious faces. But that became so insignificant when she spotted The Dress. It had a lovely shade of crimson on satin fabric that contrasted well against her white skin and seemed to hug her body in all the right places. She felt so glamorous wearing it, and she felt her confidence rise.

But now, as she peered into her mirror, ready to head out to Sesshomaru's house, she began feeling uneasy. She knew Sesshomaru's standards were so high, and she felt for sure, that she would be unable to meet them.

She shook her head, trying to push her doubts and insecurities out of her mind. She needed to focus; her mission for tonight was to find out if Sesshomaru was truly gay or not.

She nodded her head in determination as she gathered her things to get going.

Sesshomaru sat, watching the clock by the seconds, to determine his first impression of his "blind date". If she was late by 1-5 minutes, he would be nice and conclude that her incapability to be on time or buy a god damn watch had nothing to do with her intelligence. When it came to social events, Sesshomaru couldn't have cared less what time he arrived at the location, much less if he even attended the function, but tonight was special. He had to be punctual and organized in order to truly optimize his "torture Naraku" time that he had scheduled, which, coincidently, would last the entire night.

55…56…57…58…59…

Just as he began to gather his jacket while the clock turned to show 8:00 PM, his extremely short butler, Jaken, came in to announce that his date for the evening had arrived.

He grinned at this. Perhaps the bitch wouldn't be too unbearable, seeing as how she is already, albeit unintentionally, helping him on his task tonight.

Now curious to see this woman, he gathered his belongings and headed toward the guest waiting room where he found a woman, back facing him, elegantly clad in a beautiful crimson dress. He watched in silence and curiosity as she was observing one of his most valuable family heirlooms: an ancient looking beige vase.

The woman reached out her fingers to touch the vase just as Sesshomaru cleared his throat loudly. The sound startled the woman as she gasped and her fingers collided with the beautiful vase, knocking it unstable. She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable sound of the vase clashing against the marble floor, but it never came. Instead, she opened her eyes to find the back of Sesshomaru's figure kneeling and grasping the vase from it's impending doom.

"I highly doubt," he began in an irritable voice as he stood. "that you could replace such a valuable item, regardless of how many wealthy men you slept…"

Sesshomaru's face fell as he turned around and failed to finish his sentence. There, stood his assistant, Kagome, looking angry yet beautiful in a gown only meant for such an occasion as tonight. He couldn't comprehend the situation, what the hell she was doing here, and why she was dressed like that. But most of all, he could not, for the life of him, understand why he suddenly felt so happy inside at seeing his extremely annoying assistant.

"Higurashi, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Why? Am I late? I thought you said 8 P.M sharp?"

"I did say that, but for my date to be here at that designated time."

"Don't try to go all shy on me now, Sesshomaru." She said, giving him a soft punch on his arm. "I'll forgive you for your earlier impudence if we start to get going."

"Impudence?" Sesshomaru asked, his voice rising angrily. "The only impudence I've registered tonight is you inviting yourself into my home, clinging on to me, and demanding to be taken to the gala."

"Who's clinging on to whom? You're the one who practically begged me to go with you so you don't look like the loser you are!" Kagome shouted.

Sesshomaru resisted the urge to blow up in her face, and instead, decided to try and calm down and figure out the situation.

"Higurashi, when did I ever invite you to this function? Your only job was to _find_ a date for me to go with."

"No…but…you asked me to because I remember thinking about Naraku and meatloaf." She stammered to say.

"I don't care what idiotic notions your feeble mind was thinking at the time, the point is, is that it was an error of miscommunication on your behalf, and now I'm am left to suffer with the consequences."

"What! You think this is a walk in the park with me? For your information, I dreaded this night. Who the hell would want to accompany a man like you?" Kagome barked.

Sesshomaru sighed, already getting a headache from this impossible woman.

"Alright," he began. "Since it's too late to correct another of your horrendous mistakes, I will allow you to accompany me to the gala."

Kagome scoffed. "Who in their right mind would want to go now? Thank you very much, but I'm leaving. Goodbye."

Kagome then turned around and started toward the door when Sesshomaru said the only thing to stop her.

"If you do not go with me, you are fired."

Kagome wanted to brush it off as just like his other empty threats, but there was something different about his tone this time that made Kagome know he was dead serious.

She stopped in her tracks and turned around to burst out laughing at the sight of Sesshomaru stepping out of his closet, fishing for his keys out of the pocket of one of jackets.

* * *

**A/N**: Didn't get too far with this chappie, but it's more of an intro to the next. Hopefully, I'll get the next one out before I die. Look out for a new story I hope to put up soon called **_A Written Sin_**. Short summary is on my profile. 


	6. Out of the Closet Act II

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called _Sanzen_ in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it.

**A/N**: Centuries later….xX

* * *

**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 6: Out of the Closet Act II

* * *

Kagome sat dwindling her sweat drenched hands while staring intently into them in an attempt to ignore the hundreds of flashes going off from cameras just feet outside the passenger door of Sesshomaru's extravagant car. An attempt in vain, that is.

She began to feel her breath come out in short spurts, and her chest suddenly felt very constricting. Shades of crimson began to caress her cheeks as sweat began to roll down her forehead, and with every flash that went off, she felt her heart jump into her throat.

Why did they have to come through the front and make a grand entrance, anyways? Was Sesshomaru trying to kill her off with the seizures she'd probably get from all the camera flashes? Even with all the anxiety building up in the pit of her stomach, Kagome was still able to envision Sesshomaru, ever so meticulously and callously, plotting her death in the public eye. Oh no! What if he had found out what she was really doing and feigned ignorance only to come out with this in the end?! No! She would not die in the hands of this evil, cunning, wicked, arrogant, bastard!

As she began devising emergency escape routes for her soon to be death scenario, Sesshomaru pulled up to the front of the red carpet entrance, where the paparazzi began peering into the car to investigate the identities of their next victims. He turned off the car and braced himself before turning to Kagome, ignoring her accusing expression intently fixed on him.

"Higurashi, do not even think about embarrassing me tonight." He threatened. "I will talk for you. So don't talk at all. I don't want to hear a word from you. In fact, don't even _think_ about talking. I don't care if you're uncomfortable or dying out there-"

AHA! So she was right!

Seeing as he had just confirmed her suspicions, she paid no heed to his babbling as she began to look around the car for easy exit access, making sure the car wasn't locked.

"…you understand, Higurashi? It gets very hectic out there, and no one is going to stop and help you if you find yourself in trouble, so just brace yourself for tonight's events…"

Tonight's events?! Kagome was able to break out of her Survivor mode long enough to hear the rest of his threats, and as he grabbed her forearm, she roughly threw his hand away as she shouted "Noooo!"

The next events were like a blur to Sesshomaru. All he knew was one minute he was kindly advising his idiotic assistant, and the next, she was screaming at him and then tore off into the swamp of predatory reporters.

After registering what had just happened, Sesshomaru quickly yet calmly got out of the car to go after her, only to find the reporters grouped together in a circle and surrounding what could only be a small blob of crimson on the floor, otherwise known as his annoying assistant, Kagome Higurashi.

At his sudden appearance, the reporters' attention and flashes turned toward him as shouts ensued:

"Sesshomaru! Who is she? Is this your new woman?"

"Sesshomaru! When is the wedding?"

"Sesshomaru! What is your relation to Naraku Akutama?"

"Sesshomaru! Have you been working out lately?"

Sesshomaru remained collected as he mentally began to panic at the sudden on slue of incredibly outrageous questions- well, all except for the last one; in fact he had just started pumping iron at the nearby exclusive gym…

But that wasn't important at the moment.

He tried to work his way through the crowd toward his assistant, who was still recovering from falling flat on her face when, as if her clumsiness hadn't caused enough problems that evening, Kagome, trying to stand correctly in the midst of her flowing gown, stepped too roughly on the edge of the crimson fabric and cleanly tore the skirt portion of her dress, revealing her not-so-sexy anime character panties.

Sesshomaru looked at her horrified face for a split second before dashing through the infuriating flashes, stripping off his suit jacket and covering Kagome's lower half with it while embracing her as to try to block her from the reporters' view.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod" Kagome mumbled to herself, shocked. She couldn't register what just happened. It seemed as if everything that could have gone wrong in one single night, well, did. Oh, why was her life destined to be like this? Why did the Gods make her this way? Why did she feel like she was going to dissolve into the Earth? And why the hell do they make such expensive gowns so cheap? Her eyebrows furrowed in frustration as she cursed herself for her impulsive behavior and her ludicrous overactive imagination as well the clothing sweatshop owners who made her dress, but as she looked up, she was shocked once again to realize Sesshomaru had his protective arms around her.

"Just trust me." He said into her eyes, looking like the night in shining armor you only read about in fairy tales and shoujo manga.

Kagome's heart began to beat faster than Taiko drummers performing in a Sakura Festival as Sesshomaru bent down close to her body and picked her up. Her arms, reacting on their own accord, shot up to his shoulders and hugged her body next to him to keep her stable. She became lost in the confusion of the flashes surrounding her and the broadness of Sesshomaru's chest as well as her own abnormal heart until she saw finally saw the flashes dissolve in the distance…

'_THUNK'_

Sesshomaru threw Kagome from his arms onto a beautiful emerald sofa in a small room, as if fearing she might contaminate him in her current state.

"Ow!" she cried, getting up to rub her hurt bottom.

"Higurashi-" Sesshomaru began, ever so ready to chastise, but stopped as he realized she was still exposing her anime panties and legs. He coughed as he averted his eyes quickly and turned his back to her.

"Sesshomaru! Did…did what I think happen out there, really happen?" she asked frantically.

As to what she was referring to- her wardrobe malfunction or Sesshomaru's chivalrous act, he did not know, but he didn't attempt to reply to her either way.

Seeing his lack of response, Kagome got up and approached his back and put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey!" she shouted to him.

Sesshomaru felt a surge of currents course through his body as Kagome laid her hand demurely on his shoulder.

He didn't like this feeling: this foreign electricity he felt tingling within his very existence. With his back still to her, he took Kagome's hand between his index finger and thumb as if he were removing something disgusting from his person.

"Don't leave this room, I will be back with something for you to dress in." he said before he started for the door.

"Wait." Kagome said urgently as he stopped before the doorway with his back to her. "That is…er…thanks..."

Kagome could see no visible response, yet she went on.

"For helping, I mean." she spoke softly as she sat upon the elegant emerald sofa. "I know I mess up a lot. I'm a clumsy person, and I do stupid things a lot. But…I'm really trying, Sesshomaru, I am..."

Sesshomaru remained quiet and unresponsive as he listened to the silence that ensued.

"Say something, please!" she said desperately, trying to figure out his unresponsive behavior. "Tell me I'm stupid or useless or something!"

Sesshomaru remained quiet.

"Do not confuse my actions for sincere ones." He spoke in his usual indifferent tone. "How would it look if the woman I showed up with exposed herself to the world to see?" he asked her eyes as he finally looked back to her before he went through the door and closed it behind him, leaving her in the darkness of the room.

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**A/N: **Ughhh. I'm not even gonna try to make promises about updates anymore. I'm sorry; I fail at life. 


	7. How Dirty Boys Get Cleaned

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Inuyasha. I have no idea if there really is a magazine called _Sanzen_ in Japan, but if there is, I don't own it.

**A/N**: Sorry if you don't like how Kagome is in this fic. I hadn't realized how I was making her seem so helpless. Start time: 2 am while eating the greasiest chow mien ever and listening to music on my myspace.

* * *

**Heaven Knows**

Chapter 7: How Dirty Boys Get Cleaned

* * *

Miroku leaned against the wall in anticipation as he continuously checked his appearance in the gigantic Victorian mirror placed directly across from him, pausing occasionally only to sip on his specially chosen Cosmopolitan.

He examined himself in the mirror with a frown upon his face: his hair was slicked back by who knows what crap the gay stylist, "Hunee," at Kagome's salon told him to use; his adorned outfit was any old simple tux and, in his opinion, too ordinary- he had insisted that he wear no shirt underneath his tux jacket, claiming that "any gay man was sure to come and feast their eyes in all of his glory as soon as he were to unbutton his jacket." (Not to mention the ladies, he quickly added with a gleam in his eye) But, of course, Kagome's sole purpose in life was to keep Miroku's budding sexuality at bay…or so it seemed to him.

He took a break from ogling himself in the mirror as he began to stroke his chin, lost in his deep thoughts as to why Kagome persisted on rejecting his brilliant plans. He was starting to suspect that maybe Kagome herself just wanted to hoard him up so that no other female could lay their eyes on him. Or perhaps she didn't want any competition…

Right, Miroku.

Right.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Kagome peeked her head out of the green room where she had just changed into an elegant ebony dress that Sesshomaru had miraculously 'found.' She wondered at the possible methods Sesshomaru used in order to attain the dress as she crept back out into the crowd: …maybe he found it in the closet?

Oh yes, because not only do people leave coats in closets, they also deposit extremely expensive and elegant gowns into them, you know, in case one needs to change into it as they dash out into a blizzard storm.

Well, then perhaps he just pulled it out of his ass?

Ah, but then there would be no room for the stick that seemed to be permanently lodged in there…

Kagome's speculations ceased as she finally set her eyes on her partner in crime, Miroku, chatting, a little too excitedly for a supposed gay man, with a group of young females. Kagome's eyebrows furrowed as she began to make her way to him when she was suddenly grabbed roughly by her forearm and dragged in the other direction.

"Come." Commanded the familiar voice of Sesshomaru as he continued to drag her across the room. "This is your chance to redeem yourself for tonight's prior events."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, already angry that he had interrupted her evening exercise of beating Miroku into a pulp.

"I'm sure this will be difficult for you," he began as he suddenly stopped and looked at her. "However, your job can still be yours if you will just be quiet, stand there, and smile."

He attempted a smile of his own as he said the word, and Kagome was sure his face would split into two. As she was about to laugh at the absurdity of Sesshomaru expressing emotion, she was suddenly yanked into a different direction and saw the regal and handsome figure of Naraku Akutama standing in front of her, sporting a devilish grin at the sight of Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru put on a stiff grin of his own as he muttered his short and curt greeting, "Akutama."

"Takahashi." Naraku replied with equal tension.

They seemed to have stood there for minutes, each evaluating one another as they exchanged small talk until Naraku's dark eyes cast themselves on Kagome's face.

"And who do we have here?" he asked, keeping his disturbingly fixed gaze upon her face.

Sesshomaru watched as Naraku feasted his eyes on his assistant like some kind of beast scoping out his next prey, and suddenly, he felt a very small ball of anger swell up within him at the sight of Naraku ogling his assistant.

"This is my…" he began very coldly before pausing at a loss for a correct label to describe Kagome.

Technically, she was his assistant, this, unfortunately, he knew very well, but as he watched Naraku's slimey eyes glued to her, the small ball of anger continued to grow. Though he had been plagued with the misfortune of Kagome's existence constantly by him, it did not change the fact that she worked for him; therefore, he convinced himself, she was his property. Yes, his property to do with what he damn well pleased with. And right now, he decided, he was pleased to use his property to show Naraku just one of many, many, many things that Sesshomaru had in his life that Naraku could never and will never have.

"…date, Kagome Higurashi." Sesshomaru finally finished before bringing his arm to hug the curve of Kagome's waist.

Kagome's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at both the proclamation of her being his 'date' and the firm arm now attached to her waist. She stood their in shocked silence with her mouth slightly agape before coming back to reality.

"...Nice to meet you." He said to her breasts.

What straight man wouldn't be happy to meet them?

But Kagome failed to see this as she furrowed her brows once again in anger.

"My eyes are up here!" she yelled while snapping her fingers in the space in front of her face.

Naraku blinked quickly and appeared to be taken aback before slipping on his sly grin once again and turning to Sesshomaru.

"She's feisty." He declared. "I like 'em like that." He said with a wink.

Sesshomaru fixed his eyes with Naraku's and the suffocating tension seemed to mount. Sesshomaru felt his testosterone peek as he felt his territory invaded and his property being toyed with. And just as Sesshomaru was to certainly retort with something subtly offensive and witty, he felt liquid seep through his all black Armani tuxedo, a heavy force knock him onto his back, and a pair of lips contacting with his own.

Kagome, and most of the rest of the crowd, brought their hands to their mouths in the "omigod" position while gasping, while others brought out their camera phones from their pockets and purses and started an entourage of flashes.

She couldn't believe the scene in front of her. Only 20 minutes earlier, she had seen Miroku at the other end of the room, ignoring all the duties he was suppose to be attending to, and now, she just witnessed him "accidentally" tripping on top of Sesshomaru and "accidentally" kiss-raping him! She couldn't believe what was going on! This was not apart of the plan. Or at least, her plan.

"Oh no!" cried a Miroku's forced flamboyant voice after he pried his lips away from Sesshomaru's and quickly got up. "I'm sooo clumsy!" he cooed as he grabbed a napkin and started cleaning the darkened patch of material on the now standing Sesshomaru.

Miroku practically peed himself with glee as his perfect plan was unfolding. The 'accidental' tripping and kissing was definitely a hurt to his manhood. But he had already promised himself to give all his devotion into this project and show Kagome and Sango that he wasn't just based on looks but that he had determination too!

"I'm terribly sorry!" he continued in false regret as he continued to "clean" the stain on Sesshomaru's chest, which definitely appeared to be more like stroking. "I'll clean it right off for you."

Sesshomaru's patience was most definitely wearing thin for the night.

"Are you not only a clumsy fool but an imbecile as well?" he sneered furiously through gritted teeth.

"Wha-What?" Miroku asked in a small voice as he ceased his "cleaning", suddenly not feeling as confident or extravert anymore.

"This suit is completely black. No such stains will appear." Sesshomaru continued, on the edge of his patience. "Are you color blind or simply just a baffling idiot?"

"C'mon, Sesshomaru, it was just an accident." Naraku interjected with a smile, completely enjoying the current events.

Sesshomaru turned to him to find that he had inched his way over to Kagome and was now standing too close for comfort. Sesshomaru's comfort, that is.

Now completely in an internal fit of rage, he left his post of belittling the crazed fan in love with him that used such a pitiful excuse to come into physical contact with him, and marched over to where Kagome was still in her state of shock and in the omigod position, oblivious to Naraku's underhanded ways. He roughly grabbed her upper arm and snapped her awake before gathering himself in front of Naraku.

"I'm not one to be played with, Takahashi." Naraku said airily with sweet malice.

"Neither am I, Akutama. Know your limits." Sesshomaru retorted before storming out the grand building, dragging a bewildered Kagome with him.

Miroku watched as Sesshomaru and Kagome's image disappeared from his sight before sighing in disappointment with himself. He thought his impersonation as a gay man had been superb, and even if Sesshomaru was straight, he was sure Miroku's attractiveness would have still been able to capture him, but it was obvious that Sesshomaru must suffer from some sort of sexual retardation.

Miroku suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to find an older male with a pink stain upon his white shirt, peering at him flirtatiously.

"This dirty boy needs to be cleaned." He said, smacking his lips.

* * *

**A/N**: End time: 4:46 am. Ughh. I'm so bad at updating. I think this might be the last of me. I'm quitting 


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